I’ve heard it said so many times, “Staying pure is so hard to do.” To that I would simply say, purity isn’t something you do, it’s who you are. However, culture today will feed us responses like “sex is only physical, it doesn’t mean anything.” or “I just need to get it all out of my system.” LIES! Nothing created by God is ever meaningless, and how can you get something out of your system when you’re, in fact, putting it in there? I wonder. Anyway, here are a few lessons that I have personally learned in my own life and that I believe need to be considered if you truly want to be sexually pure.
1. Be Made Clean
How can something dirty clean itself? I am a dirty mess. And not to be rude, but you’re a mess too. We all are. Sex is just one thing – but we are a selfish, lying, and prideful people (just to name a few). There is nothing we can do in and of ourselves to REALLY pull it together. However, there is a place to find true purification. I believe that only the perfect work of Jesus can truly cleanse us from all that taints our minds, hearts, and bodies. I’ll just tell you now that your goal of purity will constantly feel unreachable if you never start from the clean slate that only He can give you.
2. Guard your Heart
There is one thing that I know for a fact. You can’t plant an apple seed and get a banana tree. If you’re filling your heart with lust filled tv shows, movies, songs, books, texts, and DMs – how exactly do you expect to be pure? When everything about your life screams SEX, it would be foolish for you to expect yourself to successfully abstain from it. Come on friend, you’ve got to know better than that, right? As you’re reading this, you know exactly what your “thing” is. You can continue to make excuses and passively care for your heart, but in the end, it will lead to more devastation and deeper wounds to heal from. Guard your heart because that’s the only way you’ll truly be pure.
3. Walk Alongside Each Other
Lastly, this journey towards living a lifestyle of purity doesn’t have to be walked alone. You need accountability, especially if your heart and body have already been exposed to it. Not long ago, “Insecure” actress Yvonne Orji shared her story in a TED Talk about how she is a 33-year-old virgin. Many have ridiculed her for making the choice to save herself for her husband. She talks about the people she had in her corner to keep her on track and the organization she became a part of that helped her. We need people in our corner. Sex is good and created by God. He wants us to experience it to its fullest measure with no heartbreak. We all need accountability. If this is truly the desire you have, it can be.