Single women are often expected to wait around for the perfect guy to walk into their lives and sweep them off their feet. Have you ever been annoyed when hearing something along the lines of, “While I wait on my husband to come…”? Or maybe even, “I’m waiting to meet Mr. Right…”? Well, I have!
As a single Christian woman, I hear things like this all the time. It almost feels like the good, “Christian” thing to do is wait. BUT, I just cannot stand that term in this context! When you hear the word “wait”, the connotation honestly sounds so bad. It sounds almost like you’re inactive or idle, and THAT really bothers me!
Now don’t get me wrong, I am a huge advocate for waiting to have sex until marriage, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about waiting for a man to come into your life!
Seriously, when people say things like “I’m waiting on my man to come…”, it’s almost like while we wait on the right guy to walk into our lives, we’re expected to lay idle. It’s like we’re expected to pause and put everything else on hold and focus on preparing for that one thing.
Single women should stop all the waiting and just GRIND!
Focus so much on yourself that you’re becoming an asset to any relationship that you could ever be a part of. The best part about that is that while you grind it out with your goals, you’re only becoming a better woman for your future husband (Mr. Right)!
I do not believe single women should be anxious or rush to be found by a husband, but I really believe that “waiting” is not the answer, either. Saying that you’re waiting sounds like you’re at a halt or at a point where you’re not being productive because you’re spending time being preoccupied with waiting.
Think of what it feels like to be waiting in the following moments:
- Sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office
- Standing in long lines at Walmart or Target
- Waiting on hold for a customer service rep. to get your call
What’s the common denominator here? Waiting in these moments hinders productivity and effectiveness doing anything else. That’s what waiting on the right man should NOT look like!
As a single woman, you should stop all the WAITING and just LIVE your life to the fullest!
Here’s what the “wait” should really look like:
- Spend time getting to know yourself.
- Fall in love with Jesus.
- Create life goals.
- Build an empire.
- Start a business or non-profit.
- Travel the world.
- Explore new hobbies.
- Discover your passions.
- Develop healthy friendships.
- Take classes and workshops.
- Read books. Lots of them.
- Study the bible.
- Join professional networks.
- Give back to the community.
- Go after your dreams.
All of these things require action. When you get so tied up in “waiting” on a man, you lose focus on the fact that this is one of the rare seasons in life that you get to fully focus on YOU! You don’t have to wait for a man to accomplish anything on this list, either!
All while you wait, you can prepare for your future spouse by focusing on you, healing from your past, and setting standards worth keeping.
Don’t get discouraged in waiting. Your “wait” should not feel like you’re in a waiting room. It should feel like your life is full, with or without a man!
Yes Candace!! I love this! The only thing I will wait on is for God to bless me in his timing! In doing so, I continue to be greateful for his mercy and life every single day. I continue to learn, grow, and honor myself with compassion to not always get it right but keep pushing past the obstacles to continue to live out my purpose. I hurt for the women who are so caught up in a man they haven’t even found their true purpose in life. I am single but I acknowledge I have a lot more growing to do before I am ready to be anyone’s wife. Only God will know when that is for me. I won’t even know but I DO know that I continue to trust in him to supply my every need like he’s always done! So why would him sending a man be any different? Sounds like women who “wait” don’t have much faith. Keep moving forward and know you aren’t lacking anything but only getting stronger, wiser, and greater. Also, you will learn to stop wasting those good gifts on people who don’t deserve them.
That is so true cousin Candyce My name is Kim and I thought that if u wait for the right man to come along fine but what is waiting ur doing the waiting game and it is not what it cracked up to be. I think women need to put them selves first and find goals in life what is necessary to have in human life. Single women especially needs to minimize their thoughts about what to find right man it’s no such thing is finding right man nor perfect man. Single black women shouldnt especially young black women dwell on the fact oh I’m single and waiting stop it focus on u make u become your own fan yoself love yoself I guarantee somebody will see u shining thru paying attention to u and your goals walks of life.
Kendra thomas says
Amen!!! This hits the issue right on the head and gives me such a great motivation to move foward in the right direction!!! I’m guilty of saying I’m waiting on the right man not even seeing that I’m not putting me first! Focus should not be on other it should be on you!!!! Great read!!!
Absolutely love this article!! Don’t wait be productive, build and keep moving. He that findeth a wife means I have to be sought out not in one place but operatively in place( God, business, health, wealth). Thank you for this motivation.
My son is waiting on God to send him a wife, but in the mean time he is very lonely. I tell him the same thing build and stay productive while waiting. Is there a young lady under 25 looking for a faithful handsome young man.
Candace Armour says
You should have your son check out the online community for The One University. This site helps prepare for a Godly marriage and provides a community of like-minded singles to connect with. http://bit.ly/2eY8kwX
Jada Bailey says
This is a very inspiring, informative and relateable blog post! It doesn’t just tell you don’t wait, put it tells you all the good things that you can accomplish in your season of singleness. Your so right about taking time to invest in yourself, community and building a relationship with God. This post was like an espresso shot in the middle of the day. It was that extra kick that made me say “yes!”with my chest poked out, head held high and ready to set out in exploration. Thank you!
Yes, I totally agree!
Taylor French says
This is one of my favorite articles!