Jealousy is one of those things that can be hard to spot out in relationships with friends. Why? Simply because when you are friends with someone it can be hard to see their actions as jealousy because of proximity. Recognizing that someone is jealous of you does not mean that you are prideful or arrogant. It just means that you’ve opened your eyes to the truth, so you should not feel bad about recognizing that someone you may call “friend” is jealous of you.
I’ve had times where I realized there was tension in a friendship, but I couldn’t put my finger on what the real issue was. Tension without a root issue is likely jealousy. It was hard for me to truly say that person was jealous of me because I was so worried about feeling bad for saying my friend had a jealousy issue.
Jealousy likes to hide and disguise itself as many other things. BUT… Here are a 10 signs to show you if the tension in your friendship might actually point to jealousy.
1. She/he throws shade, tries to sneak diss, or tries to make you look bad in front of others.
2. She/he doesn’t know how to celebrate you.
3. She/he keeps quiet when you get big wins.
4. She/he rarely has anything positive to say about (or to) you. Their feedback is… stank.
5. She/he is extremely critical of you & looks at your life with intense scrutiny.
6. She/he compares her/his life, relationships, and possessions to yours as if it’s a competition.
7. She/he talks down to you and speaks condescendingly toward you.
8. She/he pays attention to every detail of your life (mistakes especially) and brings it up against you.
9. She/he takes what they’ve learned about you in private & discusses it publicly in an effort to bring you down. (i.e. gossip)
10. She/he always tries to prove you wrong and tries to influence other people to have a negative view of you.
Here’s what I know as TRUTH. A friend loves at all times. (Proverbs 17:17) A friend should build you up, not tear you down. A friend should be able to say the same things they say when you’re not around when you’re still in the room. A true friend is not jealous of you.
Now that you’ve learned how to spot jealousy in friendship, you’ll have to learn how to deal with a jealous friend. Which is a completely different subject… I’ll beef up some real good advice on that and be sure to get back to you on the topic soon.
Until then, just focus on what you do best… doing you, growing, making the world a better place and not being petty! You just be great and don’t apologize for doing it!