Do you ever find yourself wondering why you’re still not in a relationship? Do you feel uncomfortable seeing so many others getting engaged and married, but you’re still not in a relationship? Are you maybe even… irritated?
Does it ever cross your mind that maybe you’re not worth being with? Do you ever think that maybe you’ll have to settle because you’re getting too old to find a quality guy? Are you tired of people asking you about your non-existent love life? Do you ever wonder if your eggs will scramble before it’s time for you to have kids? Lol, seriously…
I’ve heard many single women complain about and struggle with many of these things. I, myself, have also fallen victim to some of them from time to time. Not only do you have to battle within your mind about whether or not you’re worth marrying (sooner than later), but you have to deal with external pressures. All while being consistently reminded by our dear friend, Facebook, about every new relationship, engagement, marriage and baby shower.
While many of these things find a way to confront you, I believe there’s beauty in embracing your singleness… even when it gets hard.
Yes I said it! Being single is hard. Let’s not act like times don’t get tough. Sometimes you want that person to call and share amazing moments with. It would be nice to have someone who continuously showers love on you, right? Maybe you want someone special to spend quality time with, or even have someone to help lift your spirits when you’re down.
While being single can be tough, I believe that God’s plan for your life is perfect. He makes no mistake, and He has you where He wants you for a reason. You just have to trust Him and His process! This has been one of the major things that helps me throughout my singleness, so here’s how I’ve learned to embrace the beauty of my singleness:
Celebrate happy moments for others, but don’t compare your journey.
Learn to celebrate the lives of others. It’s possible to be genuinely happy for other people when they’re getting engaged, married, and having kids without shifting the focus to you. When someone has an amazing moment like that, can we agree that it has nothing to do with you? Right? Therefore it should not shift you into feeling lonely or have you sulking. Focus on what matters in the moment: them.
There’s so much danger in comparing yourself and your journey to others. Comparison will never add good fruit to your life. Don’t bring yourself into the picture in moments that have nothing to do with you. Let them celebrate their moment and know that your time is coming.
Recognize the beauty in singleness and choose to live an abundant life!
Don’t treat singleness like it’s a plague. It’s really not that bad… it’s actually quite amazing! Think about it like this: you have the ability to travel the world, do what you love, go wherever you want, spend your money how you want… all on your own watch. Once you get married and add kids to the equation, it won’t all be so easy to do the things you love as often as you get the chance to in your singleness. There’s beauty in that!
Travel the world! Do what you love! Don’t be afraid to live life the way you want, and embrace your ability to do so! Don’t wait for the one to come to start experiencing abundant life!
Know that God has his best for you.
God has his best for you, even when it comes to the person you’ll marry. When you’re busy worrying about whether or not there’s good enough guys out there for you, you’re occupying yourself with a responsibility that doesn’t belong to you. God knows exactly who you’ll marry. He knows the exact timing that you’ll meet.
Just hang in there, your time is coming.
Take yourself on dates!
I’ve learned to take myself on dates! That’s right, this Valentine’s Day I got all dressed up and treated myself to dinner and a movie. Some might say that would make you feel lonely, but I beg to differ! It’s actually an amazing time for you to do the things you love to do and be completely confident in the fact that you’re a beautiful single woman. One who happens to be content with where God has you.
Days like Valentine’s Day can almost force you to feel loneliness even if you weren’t worried about being in a relationship. You don’t have to be at home lonely on days like that… only if you choose to. Learn to do the things you love without focusing on what’s not there. If you focus on what you don’t have, you’re positioning yourself to have an ungrateful heart, and that’s never good.
Appreciate the time you have to fully get lost in your purpose!
When you’re single, you can focus on yourself FULLY. Once you get married and have kids, you won’t be the only focus of your life. Think about how amazing it is that you get to live life on your terms and pursue your purpose without distraction!
Getting lost in your purpose means you have time to lead a life worth living. It means that you get to serve the people that you’re called to all while learning about yourself and the way God made you.
Learn not to lose hope!
I know it may be weird to think about hoping for a good man to come into your life. The interesting thing is that when you lose hope, that’s when you become disheartened. If you treat your future relationship as if it’ll never come to pass, you will absolutely be continually frustrated and annoyed. Why? Because hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12)!
I learned this from an amazing woman of God who’s married and has a ton of wisdom. She helped me to realize that if I’m hopeless in those tough moments that I’ll end up having a sick heart. You have to know that you are absolutely worth being with, but the right one hasn’t found his way to you, yet. That shouldn’t make you sad, but you should be hopeful for that moment when it does happen. You should be hopeful for that moment when God fulfills his promise to you.
Cultivate meaningful friendships.
A big part of living an abundant life is being surrounding by amazing people. When you build meaningful relationships with people, you aren’t as consumed by the fact that you’re single. You have to learn to surround yourself with positive people who love you and that help enhance the quality of your life. That can easily take your mind off of the fact that you’re single.
Grow deeper in your relationship with God.
Your relationship with God is the single most important relationship in your life. It’s imperative that this relationship is in tact so that you don’t become so consumed by romance when it finally does come along. Let’s not forget that having a solid foundation and relationship will God will make you an even better asset to any romantic relationship.
Getting closer to God will always mean that He’s able to fill voids that may be present in your life. As you fall more and more in love with Jesus, you will realize that your life is FULL with or without a relationship. Having a romantic relationship will only add MORE to your life, but without it, your life can still be prosperous and full.
As you grow deeper in your relationship with God, you have to let God deal with the issues of your soul. You also have to let God show you what true love looks like. Spending quality time with God will always prepare you to pursue your purpose more fearlessly, and it allows for you to be even better prepared for when Mr. Right finally comes along.
Live your life to the fullest!
I believe that God’s plans are WAY better than your own. He knows exactly what you need.
You don’t have to miss out on life just because you’re single. I believe that if you use these secrets, you’ll be able to truly embrace your singleness and feel even more fulfilled in your singleness. There will come a day when you have that amazing love story, but until then, you have to focus on what God has given you. Focus on self-improvement, pursuing your purpose, serving in the Kingdom, and living out loud with amazing people around you!